Dick Privilege

 

So there’s this thing I’m noticing. Politically correct people and our beloved call-out/anti-opression culture buddies do this thing where they acknowledge their privilege before a speech about their struggle or someone else’s (should they choose to be so bold). So I thought that I, as a #selfmademan, aka man, aka transgender man because apparently we’re trying to scrap FTM or F2M, would like to take a moment to call out penis privilege.

Dear cismen,                                                                                                                                                       I feel it only responsible and respectful of me to tell you that I am aware of the fact that I’ve got you beat. I know society gives us the impression that because one is born with a penis, they are in fact a “real man”. This is simply not true. You are a man because you feel it right to call yourself a man. Regardless of your genital arrangement, you will come across a few people who will disagree with your decision (or parent’s decision) to do so. So I wasn’t born with the club. You may think that is a hardship, but the reality is, I actually have a dick. It’s a clit and it’s fucking huge thanks to testosterone, but smaller than the average peen. That’s fine. Size only matters to size queens and my collection of detachable dicks has made me one. That’s right. Tell me to go fuck myself and I will reply with a “thank you” because I can ACTUALLY do that, AND I’m a decent lay. This microdick of mine has gotten many ladies off. Small-dicked cisguys, please take note: there is hope for you if you stop listening to the haters and own that shit. However, I recognize that I am still slightly more privileged, as I can go from tiny dick to actual horse size. And guess what? Horse size is generally not as fun for either party as one may think, so let that dream go. My major point here is that I will never run into the size problem. Ever get your ass ripped by a guy that honestly should be a bottom? Baby you can take your pick with me and save the prolapsed anus for later. Perhaps you like that shit, but I already walk funny. Furthermore, my dick is easily sterilized on the the regular and doesn’t quit. I as well as anybody who isn’t put off by dicks without a body, can be fucked from a distance. Yep. I go on the road and leave my dick behind for her to play with in the shower, while I jerk off at the hotel and can still get sucked off. You see, it’s an extension. I can literally fuck all over the place at one time. Okay that’s a stretch – these people are actually fucking themselves with my possessions. I’m just getting cocky now. But I can jog and not worry about chafing, or get kicked in the boys and know that I have extra cushion in the form of a packer (artificial limp dick) to protect that minidick from bruising.  I suppose the most rewarding thing about this experience is as a regular drug user and alcoholic, I will NEVER HAVE WHISKY DICK! I have passed out balls deep, been slapped awake and proceeded to give’r. I can cum and keep going until she’s done, do every ludicrous, seemingly impossible position, fall on it, have big bears and BBW ride the shit out of it, and even attempt cock-pushups without ever bending or breaking it. I’m unbreakable and unstoppable. So if you cisdudes still think that “real men” are measured by their junk, I have a collection of dicks for you to suck.

Sincerely,

That guy with the unsinkable penis. Pretty sure it floats too.